Aug 8, 2008

No style

There were a lot of things in mind but don't know how to convert it to word. Last time people use to say, human brain can control thing, i don't beleive it because i never try how powerful it is. Untill recently i've attended a motivation course, an insturctor and 2 other guy lifted a guy as heavy as me by only using index finger..i went to wash my face and come back see it myself again..those two guy are like me no special power at all. Then we tried it out in the office room, using the same finger to lift a colleague with the same weight as me and it really i really felt like a feather that momment onwards. So this really motivates me to use my brain as hard as i can...this actually is all about focus point. If you focus on the right time and the right place everything can be done.

Just like me admired you, i never blame the situation, never blame my own looks, never blame my personality and just go for it. But i was wrong, not everything can happened according to the plan. It's just like how i like you...i can do anyhting in order to get your love, using my life to get your love anyhting. But i am not doing so because i know you're a gentle person, and you don't like anybody to get hurt rite??

Shy is another issue, actually I want to post out your name but i felt it's not the right time yet to announce who you are hehehe. If i can do it 7 years ago, i might get storm by my friends and also some of them were in your class, i don't want anybody to tease you even now i don't allow any pointing finger on your name even your photo so i choose to keep quiet and love you secretly. It's hard to get on with it but i still overcome it because I can see the future between you and me are so bright and clear so no matter how hard it is, i still love you and thinking about you only for this lifetime. I choose to say it here because i can't stand on keep holding how i feel to you when time goes by year by year...I'm not impatience but i don't want to loose you again like it happened 7 years ago. You will get a surprise from me, i won't tell you when but i guess can guessed it already.

I really like every single thing from you, i ever heard you talking to a friend in school. You voice was so sweet. If can, i really want to record it down and listen to it everyday and night. Last time handphone was prohibited in school if not i really want to record your voice. I don't know what happened to me hehe i just never heard a girl with such a gentle voice that make me unforgetable after all this year.

You like christmas or not? I can feel that you like christmas as well...When i listening to chritmas song then it always remind me of you...I am not here to get your love for one season only or sustain for one christmas but forever. I would like to spend my time with you during christmas for sightseeing in the country that got snow, skiing, hanging around with you all the time. Not only happen during christmas or winter season but whenver me and you have that intention so we can do it together eventhough you want to celebrate christmas in Middle East, I will follow you whenever you need me. From spring, summer autumn till winter, you always stay in the same place in my heart.

I want to see you everyday and night for trillion of millenium to come...I never get bored by you, Because you're an interesting person really make me can't resist to tell you I really really LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

Really unshakeable now I promise you, it's not going to be a great life and great hope for me if you agree to be my partner in this life, if you don't want to call it a partner then let call it love one or darling first. Earth quake, Tsunami, Olympic, world cup and Manchester United can't make me forget about you. It can't wash away my Love to you only you can wash away all about it from me. hehehe i am not hoping for this to happen actually hehe.. All i hope was in the next paragraph onwards.

I will committed to you until i've been call by god and after that in the next life, i came back later then i would like to find you again and again until earth and sky not exist anymore. And we will continue this in other planet or star. I would do the same to you in the next life, writing you a blog to express to you, review my plan to you where should we be for travelling, dinner, and all sort of thing. I hope mankid can exist forever so i can search for you and offer my everything to you forever.

Aug 2, 2008

Little heart with big ambition...

I had been away from home since june the 30 2008...since then i never post anything here was because of inconcistency and insufficient of time for me to write a blog and also internet connection was another issue behind it. The place that i lived in was not ideal environment for writting the blog for you.

You know someone i intended to write a blog for her somewhere in this world..should you know who you are right now if not then later i will tell you. hehe...Come back to the story my dear, actually i got a lot of things that i want to tell you but you seldom online i create this blog to record it then so when you're free you can check it out.

I already mention this before, i've been away from home one month already...first i went to KL for intensive training then came to Miri for pratical training for 3 months non makes me miz home for the first time in 24 years and 8 months now... After 2 weeks in Shah Alam...the worst days i ever suffered since i was born into this world. Every dinner that i take was from mamak stall, not transportation to go to somewhere else. if want to go then need to pay 20 to 30 ringgit to get to petalling jaya or KL. It was suffered in both physical and mentally, thank god i got a colleague from Sabah and pennisular M'sia was so nice to me so that i can overcome this test of my life.

After 15 days, me and my colleague from Sabah came to Miri for our practical training and as expected it was quite fun and relax in east m'sia compare to the west. Then all of the sudden my colleague need to rush back to KK coz the branch over thr need immediate assistant.. So the worst come to my mind, i am going to be alone again... After 24 years 8 months i still alone, the one i really one to have but never get near to it..Just like i missed out the chance of getting to know you in the year 2000 during we are form 4 . I really regret for not taking any action...Ok let the unhappy thing past and look forward to the new start and a new turn in my destiny on you..

I am the guy that sent smiles on ur frenster once or fortnightly that asking you how are you..and all sort of question.. i am willing to do it again..the incident that made me do this was when i started working recently.. i am too lonely, staying in a room alone, driving to work alone dinner sometime have sometime don have you know why?? I felt guilty of thinking to get your replacement hahaha..really though..maybe caused by loneliness.

I was alone because god know that i am guilty to have an intention of finding a replacement. So god punished me with lonelines i guess hehehe.. So when really think about it on what i really want. It was you some one i really hope to have in my lifetime. In this lifetime, i can live without mercedes-benz, i can live without credit cards but i am going to get 1 soon because my boss required me to get 1 anyway hehe, i can live without detached house and i can't live without you...the thing that i like in you was not your profession and your property.

All i want in you was your gentle and smile on me in school. You smile is like giving me a sun during midnight. Or a bucket of charcoal or firewood in winter. Your smile gave me strength which enable me to face toughest situation in my life...When i was in the lowest point of my life, the only thing i hope to see was you and your smile on me then i will became stronger and fight with my full stregh to overcome the situation. Because when a person in trouble, they should think of positive thing then they can survive the toughest situation. You are my hero and boosting my confidence all the time when i think about you.

For the past one month, if it not because of you in my heart i already give up i think, all because of you, my desire to stay put in KL and Miri was successful. Your name, your face motivated me everyday 24/7 and 365 a years for the pass 7 years... that y i am here to express it to you on how important you can be in my heart and soul everyday and night.

You are like my goal in life, everything i did was related to you. All the thing i do now is for our future if not because of your existence i would be a trash. Really.. Because i got no guildline and thing make me stiving for more. Ya my parents was another factors but if combined with yours, i can feel that the strength is amazing. The strength is like the center of nuclear explosion, really really powerful. I really want to thank you that i can have you in this world for me and at the same time admire you. You are the one that motivated me to strive for more in life both in study and job now.

All i can do now is just remain steady and hoping the best from you. I really hope that we can do many things together..Every morning i didn hope for breakfast but your smile on me..that is more delicious and healthier than any wholemeal breakfast. Lunch time i just need to have a glimps on ur face that i am full with energy to continue my work liaw. In the evening we will have our dinner together in anywhere you want. Because you will be my decision maker or captain in life hehehe... and i know you will not like a guy like this, so i will do my best and make the most appropriate decision for you and me so by doing the best decision i choose to admire you in his lifetime eventhough i never be with you, like you and love you till the end......of me.......

That is my hope on my relationship side..that i can spend my life with you, see you eveyday, if can having breakfast, lunch and dinner nite watching tv with you till you fall asleep...I really really one to be a part of your life, and i wouldn't dissapoint you...And i am sure you will not regret for sharing your time with me...

Jun 19, 2008

Today I am going to love You More Than Yesterday…..

I hope one day i can be the guy that sit beside you like that....

buying a house near a cliff like that.... and having our new life over there.....

Sometime when I think about it, it really makes me wonder what is my role over here, I mean in this planet. That happened before I found you….For now on I am glad in everything I got because one reason change me all of the sudden when I think of it carefully sometime ago….

The reason that made me want to write more is because god made me here then let me have had a chance to find you, know you and have a chance to breathe with you at the same time. If I was from another planet then I don’t have a chance to see you then. Even in the same world, if I was another creature so I still don’t have a chance to know you. That is why I am glad and proud to know you and have a chance to see you here. I really appreciated what god gives me…. So no matter what happened “ Today I am going to love you more than yesterday ”

I am happy to be born in this part of the world that can hold the same citizenship and leaving in the same nation state with you. Furthermore I am glad that we were in the same high school before. I am a coward back then but now not anymore….

Even though we are not very closed or just know each other but your everything had already carved a massive mark in my tiny heart; so that I will never forget about you. The mark that you carved on me was the main driving force for me and makes my life more meaningful than ever. I never like someone that is more meaningful than you, so you are the first and also my last. I am happy to be born to serve you and be your servant…

I secretly like you and you’re the only one in my heart so I dare to guarantee that you’re the last one that my heart can accept although that was since 7 years ago when I met you in school. Because since I recognized you as my another half, everything really went smooth for me so if I can see you everyday and night and also share everything I could with you then it could be the greatest thing ever happened in my life. This is because I did everything with an objective. The objective was you, I always think that I am doing this for the sake of you and you are the important force for my soul to move on.

That is why I am happy to be born in this world and be a human that ever met you. All I wanted to be is just like an actor or singer that entertains you. In other way round, I just want somebody like you and only allow you to see and know what I am here for…. I believe everyone do have their purpose to live in this world. For example, trees provide us oxygen and food. The same thing going to happen to you, I am the tree, and then you’re the things that need oxygen. So I will continually provide you until somebody chop the tree down. My soul and spirit still around you and provide you anything you need.

It was since 7 years ago, that my purpose in this world seems to be clear and straight forward that I will be the actor and singer to you. Make you relax and pampered all the way I can. When the winds blow, I will be your kite that flying around and make you wonder how tall the kite can reach. When there is sunshine, I will be your shade that covers you from dazzling heat. When you’re hungry, I can be your chef and anything you need. I will run a circus show or become a clown whenever you’re sad.

Some of the line I may repeated for a few times but the reason I purposely repeating those lines was because I want to make it clear to you that no matter what I will waiting for you and keep remind myself what I need to do when you’re with me…..or until you pull out of the game or the end of me…..

I am not afraid to tell you here that recently in my mind got lots of methods and reasons to make you happy. I know you’re can be as happy as you always are without me. But who know, with me the happy time that you’re going to endured with me would be more colorful than you can imagine. Just like toasted bread with butter is delicious but you never try out the toasted bread with nasi lemak paste….. ehehehe……

The End of my boring life soon…..

Erm few days ago, a shocking phone call from a company's manager says they are offering me a job. So the boring life that I endured all this time is going to end soon after the 1st of July 2008. Is it good or bad for a freeman like me??? hmmmm i don't know only god know what is going to happen to me after this...

Hey a free thinker saying this word seems unappropriate rite... ok recently i became more and more to a religious man though...Maybe praying sometimes really help hehehe... i never pray for a job, girl or money ok.... But i pray to get a pass in my exam last time in the end it really works.... That shocked me!!! Effort must be thr of course lah hehehehe.

Why i didn't pray to get a girl i like??? if i doing so i might get her but i didn't..... It's because it's not fair for you and my competitor. In my opinion, getting your love must using the fair and square method n effort must be there. Effort that i am going to put on you must be transparent not a trick or something so that i can beaten up any guy that admired you with my own style.

I am not going to use force or something else.... so that i can wholly win your heart and not going to share with any guy out there.Everyone have their own right to like someone else but if you like somebody else it's ok for me. I won interfere you but all i hope for was giving me a chance to become the person you like.

I can transform to a person you like no matter how tough the hurddle is. That is why i wrote this blog for you.... I can change anything and become anything you like even using my whole life to pay for that. Hehe i know you're not the person that want your fren to change into another being right????

All i want you to know was i can become more than a friend to you and also more than a partner in your life. So if you want someone to be rely on and i can tell you that i am one of them for you anytime... if someone can do better than me then i can do the best and the rest for you.

I can't find any other person that i can share my life with and the only one that my soul and heart can accept was you... I can't erase you in my memory since the first time i saw you and i cannot forget you no matter what......

All i can say in this blog end here because of lightning that seems going to strike my modem so i better post it now and offline now. If there anything i will continue post it here though... Remember to catch up with it hehehe

Jun 8, 2008

My way of sharing love with you....

My dream way of sharing the best with you was here within this map!!!! trust me if you give me a chance i will make it real for you the only one....

Erm i thought i suffered insomia recently hehehe since i graduated. Becasue of studying last minute for the final late at night and rest during morning. I've changed my bed time since..... i only got 1 subject for my final exam but this subject was the stuff i sucked in so a bit pressure and also hopes in it plus the lecturer was the worst in my Uni though.... no mercy, not strict but lousy in teaching quality, totally sucked and out of this world. Then the hopes got two parts first It is because if i passed this subject i can declared myself as a graduate bahhh hehehehe Now i can........and the possibility of stop studying for life but it's impossible in my parents thought though.

Second part as usual.....

The thing that still haunted me for quite sometime is whether i am still single or attached was the sucked stuff ever bother me too lol. The second hopes was to show somebody i admired for a long time that i can stand along with her since i know she was good in her studies. Sure she will be graduated from Uni that y i dun wan her to loose face becoz of me with nothing to stand along with her. "I am not here to compare with her" I am here to show you the effort that i putted in wasn't for myself but for both of us though.... Erm maybe i am rush in this but i can give you time to think about it until the end of me.....hehehe i dunno when is the end so please consider me as soon as possible ok lol. I am a bit out which asking something crazy right?? but one thing for sure that we can start all over again from the beginning from friend to couple???

Willing to give me a chance to show you who i really was??? I can't assure you fortune, title or anything that beyond my ability but I can guarantee you'll never get hurt, or being alone, boredom, hunger and etc... Furthermore pure love of the highest order, fun and happiness was the guarantee from me to you. I already reviewed some of my plan that i wanna share with you to some of my closed friends not more than 10 of them.

The plan that i am going to share with you only, when we are stable in relationship lol.... (" this is a promise for life....dun laugh for some of you out thr who's reading this")

1st we're going to Caribbean Island for vacation when we're stable in relationship.This is the place that we are going to have our lunch in Caribbean. This place called Negril where a lot of couple spend their vacation here. So this is what i planned to do during our lunch time when we're thr one day.....

After Lunch we are going to have a walk at the Caribbean seaside similar to this. So this is the real scence that i promise to go with you. If i got the chance to share with you hehe....

After a walked in sunshine Caribbean you'll be thirsty and need some drinks, so i will bring you cocktail, fresh local fruits some cookies to a place similar to the image below that make you pampered, furthermore enjoy the view of the Caribbean with me.

The place that i will recommend you to have a break after a walked and have our cocktail here...

This is a place that we got to go hand in hand and waiting under the shaded hut for sunset view of the Caribbean.....

The sunset view would be like this, at the same time we are having our wine and some cheese cake with fresh and juicy local fruits..... after this we are heading home to the magnificent hotel in the photo below....

This is how our resort will looks like in the Caribbean....fantastic isn't it...... After a changed and bath we are heading for out first dinner in the pic below..... what do you think???? heheheh

Dinner under the stars, we are going to have our dinner in a place like this in Caribbean island... From Jaimaca to Puerto Rico as long as I got the chance of sharing my time with you then i will be the happiest man on earth. Becasue sharing all i got with you was my dream come true. We can have anything thr from red wine to champagne... in terms of food we can have roasted lobster to grill fish plus some of the delicious dessert..... Then we can take some photo in a night like this and chit chating until you decide to leave....

After this we will have a go to the local club or pub to enjoy the local night life and music plus some of the famous local produced rum... "I am not alcoholic ok hahahah LOL" I juz want to try everything with you that all...... I really hope that you can join me or give me a chance to share my time and soul with you !!!! I'll never dissapoint you........

Jun 4, 2008

The same lyric everyday and night

Niah Cave

Miri City View

Marina Park Miri

Last weekend me and some friends visited Miri, the place full of history that i never been to. So it really fun been there becoz of the environment, new friends and they are really friendly and nice to hang out with really make the trip more meaningful and i will remember this until the end of my life. Miri a great place to visit.....

It juz like i can't forget you when i first saw you in school, the same kind of feeling but with different taste hehehe. i dunno how to explain and simply put a word "taste" sorry about that. But one thing for sure was, you are always number one or top priority in my mind. whenever i go i will carry you together with me in my mind and heart. I never forget you when i concerntrate on something even during my exams time.

You're the most important factor that make me move on in this world. Everything can be change in a split second but your status in my heart will never get scratch by the challenge of time and feeling. You are my everything and also a part of my soul that run inner me and it helps me to strive for more in my life. i wanted to strive for more in both studies and job. I am confident that i will get a job soon and i will do it properly juz like what i've done in my Uni. I also doing my part time masters at the same time. That is what i planned to do though. what do you think ??? hehehe do you know who i want to refer to.... it is not hard to guess isn't it???

I saying and doing this is becoz of three things, 1st reason is becoz i dun wan to loose ur attention on me, and i dun want other admirer of you got the same level as me. In other games or situation i can be the last and the worst but in front of you i want to be the best and the first one to catch your attention.

Second reason was for me and you, Coz human can only live on this funny planet less than 100 years so i should do something that amaze me myself and make me a worthy being that deserve to live in this world for you.

Third reason is for my family and friends, without them then automatically without me and it ends up without your greatest fan. (greatest fan = Me = Andrew)

Recently i listened to a song called K 歌情人 every night since i discovered it few weeks ago. Wah really nice hehehe when u r alone during a sleepless night. Yah another song was "All my life" it is quite meanighful actually for me a lonely guy hehe.

I am not here to recommend songs to you though but juz wanna to express something that i can't say it to you here or face to face with you. By using those songs, the lyric will explain everything that i wanna tell you when we meet each other next time.

I dunno how to tell you the thing that i want you to know from beneath of my hearth and all i can do is by using "All my life and K歌情人" as a translator. I am not good in expressing myself and i hope you dun mind hehehe. This is how i feel to you when you listening to the songs above you will feel how i feel to you directly or indirectly. Any doubt about my feeling to you can directly contact me though no matter what time and place that you're in.

May 9, 2008

Shy guy and a Shy girl ???

hehe Could this shy guy gets the shy girl heart this time round..... in doubt forever hehe. Erm.... whenever a fren, relative or a kelefe ask me how are you? I will replied he or she yes i'm fine. Then the second question come in and asked are u still single? yes i am, but i got someone in my heart... you wan me to tell you that too damm.

Asking someone whether he or she still single or available was a tough to be answer isn't it? sometimes it hurt the feeling, sometimes remind him or her of the miserable past. So i'm not really hurt actually when someone asking me that hehe i used to it oledi. Ppl around me who knew me including some of the relatives asking me that all the time hehe.

What would you do? you don't have a frens or relatives like that i think hehehe or you don't bother about it juz like me? Erm i visiting your profile everyday, whenever i wake up first thing was going for your frenster. See anything new from you or the reply u sent me coz i know different time zone between you and me. Writing all this is not becoz i wan you to reply me and it is juz to let you know i am waiting and hoping the best for you even with the last breath of my life i will hope u fine and stay cheerful as i first saw u in high skool.

Hehe do you think i am a useless guy that waiting for impossible thing to happen? Nvm, there is no other person can replace you in my heart even with the same looks and characteristic inside out. The thing that i like about you was you as a whole even your soul that run you, even with any mistake i will like it very much. I don't think you got any mistake though.

If you give me a chance, i will like your every single bits without a thought of regret o tiredness. I can serve you well and offer my life to you without a single thought. Watever you do, i will follow and support you till the end of me.....